Gather round children, it's time for a story; or, as I like to call it: story time. Unlike most of Uncle Phildo's stories though, this one is actually true. This is the story of how Uncle Phildo being a total asshole led to two people finding each other and eventually getting married. Because that's what Uncle Phildo does. He's an asshole. And then people get married. And he stays unhappy. Don't grow up, kids.
|"And then Somali pirates took over the ark and held all the animals hostage until a UN peacekeeping force brutally murdered the pirates using bullets and ballistic knives."|
|Pictures really do say more than words...|
So anyway my friend and I are at the bar, probably looking mildly homeless, downing pitcher after pitcher after pitcher after pitcher after pitcher of beer. Earlier in the evening, apparently right before we had arrived, some attractive representatives of the Miller Lite brand were there passing out Miller Lite branded memorabilia like hats, frisbees and those little things that you put under your eyes to reduce glare if you happen to be athletic and want to have that "Native American" look going for you. Sadly we missed most of the swag being doled out. In a state of drunken despair we asked the bartender if he was sure that the Miller Lite girls were gone and he said he was pretty sure they were. Not to be deterred, we ordered another pitcher of beer.
Shortly thereafter, two girls decked out head-to-toe in Miller Lite gear came over and asked if they could join us for a beer. Baffled, my friend and I agreed. Were these the mysterious Miller Lite promo girls? After several pitchers of beer had been consumed, we basically thought we were being hit on by these women:
|Of course we missed this.|
|Copyright for this photo belongs to my ex-wife.|