At the beginning of last year I made a proclamation that 2010 would change my life. Out of all the things I thought would happen last year, from me making a magabillion dollars (that's totally a real number) to me winning the baby lottery and getting my own show on TLC, the one thing I didn't think would really ever happen to me...did.

I don't often delve deep into personal matters here but I'm feeling extremely thankful today because of the one most important thing that did happen to me last year...I met the woman of my dreams, and...seriously...get this...somehow I convinced her to fall in love with me.

I had pretty much resigned myself to a life of misanthropy and being generally unloved as a result of said misanthropy....and then, out of nowhere came the one I'd always waited for.

So there ya go, Internet. I'm starting off 2010 on a positive note, happy and in love and wishing everyone a successful decade...and let's just hope that the 2000's don't end up looking like the 80's in hindsight.

Oh yeah and I didn't forget my resolution - this is day 1 folks. Keep on coming back!*






*HA. Nobody comes here.

Read more...

So. 2010 is almost over. Don't you worry your little heads though, my Year In Review is forthcoming (no, seriously). Before we get to all that good stuff I wanted to take a second and share my one resolution for 2011 - the one thing that I will not fail at.

In 2010 I have gone the whole year without a cigarette. If you knew me as a smoker (and ever went to a bar with me) you know how significant of a change that is. I went cold turkey, a show of willpower that the Phildo brand is not often associated with. So, emboldened by my accomplishment, I am going to undertake an unprecedented leap forward in 2011.

I am going to post something to this blog every single day of 2011. That's right. Like it or not. Content. Comin' atcha. Even if it's just some shitty video or picture like my last 8 million posts have been, I'm putting something up here.

Now that that's out in the open, don't be surprised if you see some changes in the look and feel of the place. 2011 is the year that this blog moves from "shitty blog that nobody reads" to "shitty blog that about 100 people read." You heard it here first, folks.

Whatever you decide to be resolute about in 2011, best of luck to you - don't join a gym though. You'll quit going. And don't start a new diet program. You'll just fall off the wagon after 10 pounds.

God...I'm so motivational, aren't I?

Read more...

So hi.

It's been a hot minute since I've posted anything of worth. I want to apologize because I know all four of you that read this site are like "What's with all the YouTube videos, Phil?"

Well here's what's been going on:

• Got myself a real freakin job.
• Been working hard on Updog (an excellent podcast, if I may say so)
• Writing a radio play that the Updog cast plans on releasing in about a month and a half.

So I've been doing shit. Yeah. Ninja Cat is still very ninja-like, I'm still pissed at a lot of things and people, so don't worry the status quo is being maintained.

I've got some work to do on the radio play, but I've got a post in the works for tonight that will literally knock your socks off (never mind that Mythbusters busted that myth already).

In the meantime, fuckcuntcreambitchshitassfuck.

I usually swear right? It's been so long I forgot my own shtick. Mazel Tov!

Read more...

Coming soon, a post on late-night advertising.

Read more...