So I like to have nervous breakdowns in public places, right? Who doesn't? I was heading to Subway so I could go cry in public and make people afraid of me and thinking "Yumbo, doesn't a turkey sammich sound like just the thing that will somehow make all the bad things go away? And at $5 it's a real steal!" Imagine my horror as I walk in the door and am greeted by the Sandwich Artist from hell. 

"Sir just to let you know before you ask, we are no longer offering any sub for $5. Only select sub selections are selectable for select $5 select offer selection."

"Okay so if I want just like...turkey and bread, how much is that?"

"$7."

"But I can get a....'Cold Cut Combo' for $5?"

"Yes."

"You realize that's three kinds of meat. I'm only asking for one. It has to cost you more money to make a sandwich with three meats than to make a sandwich with one meat."

"Well that's not really the issue."

"What is the issue?"

"Pardon?"

"What is the issue? If the issue is not cost of making the sandwich, why is a sandwich with less on it more expensive than a sandwich with more on it?"

"Because it's not on the menu."

"Okay I understand that. I get you. Can I get the 'Cold Cut Combo' and get turkey instead of salami and have it still cost $5?"

"Sure."

"So you're going to make me a sandwich with two kinds of meat that I'm literally going to remove from the sandwich and throw away. Surely you can see that this is flawed logic. You can't just make it without the other two meats and ring it in as a Cold Cut Combo?"

"No sir."

Sigh. "Fine, give me the Cold Cut Combo with turkey instead of salami."

I proceeded to remove the other two fucking meats and eat my turkey goddamn sandwich while crying in the corner booth with only myself and "a cup for water." I got my turkey sandwich and I got it for $5, but Subway made me waste 14 slices of other meats just to do it. Because this is America, goddamnit.